Advice from Proverbs 31.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,

to love their children,To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,

obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. -Titus 2:4-5

Upon first reading this section of the verse, a lady may wonder why God would include such a seemingly obvious statement. There is however perfectly good reason, and the good Lord knew what we would need to hear. In a world where marriage has become flippant, and divorce prevalent... it's hard to know what the true foundations of marriage are. Sometimes the lines between Biblical truth and "worldly wisdom" are blurred. It can be hard to for us to discern what God wants. So, what does the Bible teach about marriage and loving our husbands?

The Proverbs 31 woman is the most used reference when discussing a woman's role in marriage -- and for good reason. We can learn a vast number of things from her example. Reading through these passages will, without a doubt, stir a sense of conviction in our hearts. There will always be areas in our lives that could use some cleaning up, so let's strive to be like these Godly examples given to us. I've noticed that many times when considering Godly womanhood, we are hit with a rush of doubt and worthlessness.
"You are much too wicked to consider being virtuous."
"Don't try to be Godly, you'll be a hypocrite."
"You are tainted, and can never be a good wife."
These kinds of thoughts are rubbish. I don't care what a woman has done in her life, she can be a Godly woman by the grace of God. So let's look at some verses in Proverbs 31.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. -vs 13

A Godly wife gives 100% of herself to her family and home. A woman will be a tremendous blessing to her husband if she sets her mind to keeping her home in order and serves the needs of her family. This is not a degrading thing. The world paints "housewives" as stupid, uneducated, and lazy. The Bible paints these women as strong and honourable. Whose opinion will we concern ourselves with?

She riseth also while it is yet night... -vs 15

A Godly wife puts the needs of her family and home before her needs. In the verse given, for example, she does not lie in bed all day or skip making a meal for her family. She rises out of bed and attends to what needs done regardless of her own wishes. By doing so she provides provision and safety. As a husband, to live in a home with a selfless wife must be a blessing. For man to "safely trust in her" is what God intended.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor... -vs 20

Let's look at this verse from a different angle than the obvious. Yes, it is good that she is charitable. But how will this benefit her marriage? It will benefit her marriage because she is setting a good example for her children, and possibly even for her husband. I have ofter heard the wife and mother referred to as the Holy Spirit of the Home. By serving others, she may guide her children and others that she influences to do the same. This will in turn lead her children on Biblical paths. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. "

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. -vs 23

We can take this verse to mean that her husband has a good reputation. He is well known and respected by those around him. A wife can play a huge role in the reputation of her husband.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." If a woman constantly runs to her friends or fellow church members to complain about her husband, she will eventually wear away at his honour. If she always has something to nag about, if she constantly corrects him, if she laughs at him... She can quite easily cause others to lose respect for him. A wife should be very careful how she handles her words concerning her husband. She should always be open and honest with him, but use discernment. May I add, I believe it is a good idea for a wife to plant small seeds of praise about her husband everywhere she goes. Not so much that it drives people crazy... but just enough for others to see that her husband is respectable.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. -vs 30

This is, in my opinion, one of the most important verses in the Bible about Godly marriage. A woman's walk with the Lord will be directly reflected in her life with her husband. If she works to keep a good relationship with the Lord, she will become a spiritual counterpart for her husband. Most women meet their husbands physical needs, a few women meet the emotional needs of their husband, but a great few meet his spiritual needs. This is the truest meaning of being a Helpmeet and a Godly wife. It's good to keep the home and raise Godly children. It's good if you can provide meals and a haven from the world within your home. But what will stand throughout, and what will matter in the end, is the role of God in a marriage. Those who are married, strive to be a Godly wife. Those who are still unmarried, pray that God will mold you into a lady that He can use to bring honour to His name.

-Deborah Newby